Even those of us who can handle plenty of excitement and variety can still get our knickers in a twist when change hits too close to home.
“The Only Constant is Change,” so the saying goes … and for good reason! Besides ‘death & taxes’, change is about the only thing we can count on in this life. Sometimes that feels good – and sometimes, not so good. So when change comes without welcome to your door, whaddya do?
If you’re like me – engaged with life and seeking growth, variety and plenty of juicy experiences – then change isn’t so frightening per se, but even those of us who can handle the vagaries of foreign travel, new projects, entrepreneurial demands and an ever-growing list of friendships, can still get our knickers in a twist when change hits too close to home. Know what I mean?
Denial ain’t Just a River in Egypt
This happened to me on more than 1 occasion, but the worst came about 10 years ago, just when my (former) hubby and I finished building (by hand) our own home. I had the vision alright – of where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do. It was great, it was grand, it was oh-so wonderful! Problem was, he didn’t share that vision. Yep, I was in DE-NI-AL – big time. I was trying to ignore this oh-too-obvious fact – a fact that, umm, everyone but me could see. The results? Change came and smacked me upside the head – ouch! Set me spinning for a few years, I might add.
Painful story? Yeah, but more than that. You see, once I finally opened my eyes, saw the proverbial writing on the wall and accepted what was going on, I started moving with the change, rather than resisting it.
Balking at the Gates of Transformation
I call this behavior ‘balking at the gates of transformation’ because I believe that when your life demands change it’s because it’s time for you to grow in a new way. This can be scary at times – and unwanted! – so we balk. But what I, and many, many wise ones before me have found, is that the more you balk at these gates (the need for change in any area of your life) the more painful your life is going to be. So then, what to do? Here are some things that I’ve learned work really well when the change you’re facing is not what you’re wanting.
5 Tips for Coping with Change
I know, sounds simple. But you’d be surprised how many people resort to shallow breathing when under stress. And if there’s one time in life when you need enough oxygen in your brain and body, it’s when you’ve got to cope with the stress of unwanted change. So breath baby, BREATH!
2. Extra Self-Nurture.
On every level! I’m talking about speaking kindly to yourself, about yourself and with yourself. Look, just because you might be facing your own mistaken choices that are the trigger for change, there’s no need to beat yourself up. In fact, that’s the worst thing you can do! Taking care of how you treat yourself is paramount during times of change. This also includes taking care of your body through enough – and sometimes extra – rest, paying extra attention to your diet, and making sure you get some extra physical lovin’ through massages, facials, or other healing touch.
3. Stay Open.
Maintaining an open, optimistic attitude about the possibilities inherent in this change is the very best way to bring them about! Keep in mind that, from your vantage point, in the midst of change, you can’t yet ‘see’ all the possibilities, probabilities and potential, positive results. But you can put your thoughts in the direction of the best possibile outcome.
4. Ask for Help.
Change can mean learning new skills, gaining new insights or accepting new routines. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Look to those who have experience both with change and with the kinds of skills, adaptations and lifestyle experiences you’re being called to.
Look for things to appreciate as you move through changes. Maybe (umm, probably) what you’re moving toward will also be moving you away from some things you don’t totally love. Notice if you experience some sense of relief as you allow change to change you. Maybe new people come into your life who revitalize your work or your play. When you take the time to appreciate the manifestations of change, you open the floodgates for more positive aspects to show up!
What Change is Knockin’ on Your Door?
Is change knockin’ on your door right now? What is this change ‘about’? and what positive possibilities can you see for your life, now that coping with change is upon you? Leave me a comment and let me know.
Dawn DelVecchio Dawn DelVecchio is a writer, speaker and self-empowerment coach. She’s the author & host of DawnDelVecchio.com, where she shares insights, tips and practical tools for living a life of joy and abundance. Her eBook, The 7 Keys to Unlock your Soul’s Purpose is a simple guide to connect with your truest calling in this life. Dawn’s intent is to “Help people unlock the door to their soul’s calling so they can live in the joy and abundance they were meant for.”